Meeting 3. - Community is a decision¶

Tags: Community, Decisions, Responsibility, Time, Music work, Text work, Discussion, Formative

Goal¶

Second-to-last substantive point of the retreat. We decidedly summarize, gather, share experiences. Convincing to an open and active attitude in one’s life, to going beyond one’s “I”.

For animator¶

At all costs avoid any even semblance of brainwashing. We’re not a recruiting unit, and whether these retreats are good or not in no way depends on how many people fell in love with Oasis and want to come to it. Today’s meeting is long, and participants will also be tired - you need to watch over its dynamics.

Prayer¶

We’re after a conference (Binia - best regards :P) about courage for decisions and responsibility, about not wasting time. It’s worth following up and praying that we’ll be able to draw good things from these three days regardless of whether we wanted to get more involved in some community or not.

Introduction to the meeting¶

On the first day we asked ourselves where we are and what it gives us. On the second day we paid more attention to the fact that besides us there are also others with whom we’re connected in some way. We have a lot of knowledge, because we’ve seen much. Can we do something with this now? What did it give us?

Key decisions¶

We’d like to start today’s meeting by listening to or reading a work.

The sun will shine between sunrise and sunset

Casually it will outline the city with clouds

Some the day will feed with tar, others with honey

To one it will raise the head, to another tighten the rope

What’s young will again become a bit older

As if a bird shook another drop from its feathers

Casually, casually

As if it shook a drop from feathers

To some roses carpet under feet, to others a log

To the rest - casually - whatever

A frustrated person sends a complaint, a laureate writes an ode

Once good appears as evil, once evil as good

A word falls into a sea of words, like a stone into water

A disc of thought will leave a trace sinking to the bottom

Casually, casually

A disc of thought sinking to the bottom

A warm sated one - seized by incomprehensible hunger

A hungry one - casually - anger satiates

To one a bridge span, to another a house with a garden

Someone cares about something, something follows someone

For loss, for benefit and for harm

Like maliciously a bone thrown among dogs

Casually, casually

Thrown among dogs a bone

They dance, fight, breathe fire, breathe cold

Casually they’ll burn to dust, cut to ice

They tear at their god’s straw beard

So he’ll give them a blade of hope, an ounce of order

They take dream for reality, punishment for reward

Replaying their short scherzo without notes

Casually, casually

Short scherzo - without notes

I won’t derive anything more from this rhyme

Casually composing a bitter song

I’ll only add consolation for sweetness

That casually important content sleeps in it

A moment of light between sunrise and sunset

Before which it’s hard to just pass by

Casually, casually

Hard to just pass by

City of clouds, moments of happiness

—Jacek Kaczmarski – Casually

Life goes on casually. Whether we want it or not, several dozen seconds of time have already passed since the beginning of this meeting. Even if we lock ourselves in a room, the earth will keep turning, and seasons changing.

What part of your life happens casually? Do you try to control every event or rather let things happen?
What areas of life are important enough for you that you would never allow someone else to decide for you?
In what way do you “manage” your life? Did you make independent decisions regarding choice of school, profession, etc.?

It’s normal that certain things happen in our life casually. None of us, for example, would want to have to think about breathing ;). Casually fantastic things can happen to us…but these will only be things that don’t require time. Casually we won’t build the Eiffel Tower, nor conquer Mount Everest, we won’t reach for our dreams.

In community you can find yourself casually. You can even be there for several years. (in a sense we ourselves “casually” became members of the Church when our parents baptized us)

Would you want the person with whom you’re to spend your whole life to choose you exactly like this casually? (if someone likes extreme examples, imagine that a guy proposes to a girl, and she flips a coin before answering him)

None of us would want that. We feel in our heart that something like this doesn’t suit us. You can’t make such important decisions with a coin toss.

Listen to such a description:

“Their main principle of life was love. They didn’t want to hurt anyone, and helped everyone. At least once a week they met together and were very hospitable. Each of them did the work that they discovered they had the greatest talent for. They had such a principle that when they talked they always did so honestly, so none of them had to worry that someone behind their back would gossip about them.”

Would you want to be in such a group of people?
Is it possible for such a group to exist?

Such a group exists. This description is a description of e.g. the Church. We meet once a week after all at Mass, our main principle is love, the Church has teachings that say not to lie.

Why then is the Church not like this?

How many people in the Church do you think made a long-term decision to try to build such a group together?

Community doesn’t fall from heaven. You build community, and for that you need our courageous decisions.

Don’t we, coming to the Church, also expect a ready wonderful community that can offer us something?

Decision to act¶

Let’s read St. Francis’ prayer:

O Lord, make us instruments of your peace,

That we may sow love where there is hatred;

Forgiveness where there is injury;

Unity where there is doubt;

Hope where there is despair;

Light where there is darkness;

Joy where there is sadness.

Grant that we may,

Not so much seek to be consoled, as to console;

Not so much seek to be understood, as to understand;

Not so much seek to be loved, as to love;

For in giving, we receive;

In forgiving, we gain forgiveness,

And in dying, we are born to eternal life.

Through Christ our Lord. Amen.

Is the third desire from the third part of this prayer close to us? Why?
What does it show that St. Francis prayed for this?
What do we ourselves rather seek or are we able to act?

St. Francis was born in 1181/1182. We still know more than we’re able to embody in life. You can look at this in at least two ways. The first way is frustration - for over 800 years nothing has changed! The second way is hope - there’s still so much to do, still so many things wait for people who will take them up.

Which approach is close to me? Does what I see around me motivate me to act or discourage?

Warning

This is a key moment!

Let’s read:

Someone should do it after all, question mark.

Someone should react, question mark.

(…)

I also asked myself such questions, alone.

And I found such an answer – if someone, then why not me?”

—Władysław Bartoszewski

This is the moment when faith appears. Faith enables us to go beyond our world, to activity. To consent to conscious meeting and participation. Both in casual meetings and in planned meetings - I go out to others and want to build something together with them. This is my decision.

What can accompany such a decision? (fear? terror? curiosity? faith that I’ll succeed?)
Is it worth risking leaving your ordered world? (if someone knows Lord of the Rings - example of hobbits and Shire)

Openness to “always new”¶

God for reasons known only to Himself doesn’t act “magically” uttering one word so everything would be ordered. For ages He’s been waiting for man, until he takes up action.

Let’s read:

I always thank my God as I remember you in my prayers, because I hear about your love and faith, which you have toward the Lord Jesus and for all the saints. I pray that your partnership in the faith may become effective for the knowledge of every good thing that is in us for the sake of Christ. Your love has given me great joy and encouragement, because you, brother, have refreshed the hearts of the Lord’s people.

—Phlm 4-7

How do you understand the phrase “partnership in the faith”?

Creative and not imitative. That’s why God doesn’t drag us by force into the world, He waits for our decision, our will, our choice. He waits until we want to create something. When we take the first step it turns out that God took it ages before us and stands and waits for us.

Community is a place for meeting people who decided to “leave their room” in this way, to accomplish something, create, change.

What results from the fact that two people meet, each of whom wants to have a “creative partnership”?

It’s unpredictable! Such a meeting in nothing resembles the ordered world of a single person. A meeting always has something of such creative restlessness - because I don’t know what mood the person I’ll meet will be in, I can’t program the course of the meeting, nor write a script (outline) that will cover all possible answers. It takes place as if between persons, so it’s not in anyone’s possession. In meeting with others we’re ready for everything to be “always new”.

How unpredictable the consequences of meetings can be, let’s read:

Andrew, Simon Peter’s brother, was one of the two who heard what John had said and who had followed Jesus. The first thing Andrew did was to find his brother Simon and tell him, “We have found the Messiah” (that is, the Christ). And he brought him to Jesus. Jesus looked at him and said, “You are Simon son of John. You will be called Cephas” (which, when translated, is Peter). The next day Jesus decided to leave for Galilee. Finding Philip, he said to him, “Follow me.” Philip, like Andrew and Peter, was from the town of Bethsaida. Philip found Nathanael and told him, “We have found the one Moses wrote about in the Law, and about whom the prophets also wrote—Jesus of Nazareth, the son of Joseph.”

—Jn 1,40-45

A fitting comment seems to be:

The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances: if there is any reaction, both are transformed.

—Carl Gustav Jung

Going out to meet, I can assume from the start that it will change me. I don’t know, however, how much, nor in what way. It is for me in the full sense of the word - a Mystery.

Do we feel confident enough already that we can bravely “risk changes”?

Our courage depends on how much we’ll be able to meet with others. When people are afraid of something, they reflexively close themselves in what’s known to them. Let’s try to interpret a few images of people who try to be open and think they are…

Openness as a pot exposed to rain, but bottom up (I’m with you in one room, but I don’t really want a meeting with you.)
Openness as a pot exposed to rain, but with a hole in the bottom (I listen with one ear, but it flies out the other. I don’t attach importance to what you say, I don’t consider it valuable.)
Openness as a pot exposed to rain, but full of raspberry juice to the brim (I assume from the start that you can’t tell me anything, because I know everything. I come to tell you my wisdom, because I think you need it.)
Openness as a pot exposed to rain, but dirty with soot inside (I filter so strongly what you say through the prism of my own experiences that I hear from you what I want to hear.)
Openness as a pot exposed to rain, which collects fresh water (Bingo! We met :P )

Let’s ask ourselves one more question:

Which obstacle in your opinion most often prevents opening to meeting?

Being a conscious participant in life¶

Let’s read:

“You are the salt of the earth. But if the salt loses its saltiness, how can it be made salty again? It is no longer good for anything, except to be thrown out and trampled underfoot. You are the light of the world. A town built on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house.

—Mt 5,13-15

Where does this event take place?

This is the Sermon on the Mount. Outside the city. People who are there had to leave their homes. They had to leave to meet with Jesus.

What does Jesus say to people who go out from what they know and follow Him?
What does this mean for us?

People who got to know themselves enough to find in themselves courage to go out bravely on a journey are called salt of the earth and light of the world. They didn’t do anything beyond that, they didn’t have any “greater merits”. Simply - they wanted to meet, to listen.

We end the conversation about the fragment with animator’s summary more or less in this spirit: Such people create small groups that are creative, that enliven their surroundings, that intrigue others. You can’t pass by such people indifferently. Such were the first Christians. They’re needed to jolt others out of routine, so others ask themselves the question “why do they do this?”, “why do they stick together?”, “What connects them since they’re so different?”. Their existence is for others a provocation to question the meaning of their own life.

They are salt of the earth and fight for the taste of life….

Prayer¶

A request for some one concrete good meeting that I know I’ll have in the near future.