Meeting 1 - “Do Not Worry”¶
Meeting Goal + Introduction for the Animator¶
This meeting is both very short and crucial for a good start to the retreat and for solidifying our small community for this time. Regarding the retreat theme, in this meeting, we want to notice how much we focus on secondary matters in our lives. To this end, the meeting includes one activating exercise (chosen from two options), which will need to be conducted efficiently due to the limited time. We also want, right at the beginning of the retreat, to familiarize ourselves with and briefly reflect on a Gospel passage that, in fact, served as the starting point for everything we will be discussing over these two days. The application from the meeting serves to set the right mindset for the time ahead and to fully engage in this retreat. Out of caution, the outline contains rather few questions, but in such a short time, it will be impossible to ask them all anyway, so treat them rather as hints ;)
- Goals:
Getting to know each other and forming the small group community
Seeing the secondary nature of things in our lives
Making concrete resolutions on how we will use the time of this retreat
Preparation for evening prayer
Introduction and Getting to Know Each Other¶
Prayer. Possible organizational matters. (It is worth mentioning, among other things, the possibility of confession during the evening prayer).
Note
Just pro forma: Let’s note that perhaps not for all participants this practice of small group meetings will be clear, so if necessary, do not forget to mention such basic issues as, for example, that we do not criticize or judge what someone says, that we share and do not answer according to a key, or that what we share stays between us.
Let’s necessarily start with some form of integration that will immediately introduce the topic. E.g.: “My name is… I do… The three most important things in life for me are…”
Examples of Secondary Matters¶
Next, as a warm-up, we can briefly talk about generally encountered situations known from life, where someone focuses too much on something secondary, forgetting what is important. For example, attitudes like:
meticulous preparation of the house and dishes, but forgetting why I am inviting guests in the first place
a garden that I care for so much that I never have time to sit in it and enjoy it
liturgy where altar boys must walk so precisely by the ruler as if the validity of the mass depended on it
focusing on wedding preparations so much that we miss the marriage
excessive perfectionism in performing tasks
Christmas, so overshadowed by preparations that we no longer remember what we are celebrating
when I only take away from Mass that the priest gave a poor sermon
the cult of St. John Paul II, where the most important thing is that the Pope went for cream cakes
etc. …
Note
Let’s look for our own examples! The above are just hints ;)
NOTE! We do not want to criticize everyone around, or even ourselves, and point out someone’s mistakes! It is rather about sensitizing to a specific “style over substance” which very easily becomes our share, and which we often do not even notice. We want to discover this in our lives, not scare with it and warn against it!
Note
However, let’s be aware that secondary matters in our life do not concern only the form. Dealing with computer games when people next to me ask me to teach them math is not a form that has outgrown the content, but it is dealing with secondary matters…
“Time Expenses”¶
And how is it in my life? Let’s recall what we shared at the beginning of the meeting - what is important to whom in life. Let’s see now to what extent what is important to me actually has a share in my life. According to your discernment (taking into account, for example, the age of the group), choose, animator, one of the following exercises:
- Version A (clocks):
Let everyone draw two circles next to each other in their notebook. Each of them symbolizes a clock face, i.e., 12h of life, so both together symbolize our one statistical day of life. Let everyone individually try to determine how many hours a day they spend on what in life and apply it to their “clocks” in the form of appropriate pie slices.
- Version B (balance sheet):
Imagine that every day you get exactly 1440 PLN - how will you use them? And how do you use exactly this number of minutes that you have at your disposal every day (24x60=1440)? Alternatively, hard version: the amount of 86,400 PLN corresponding to seconds.
- NOTES (regardless of the chosen version):
You can preface this all nicely, like: “It is said that time is money. Imagine that it is indeed so. We usually spend money on things that are important to us (or simply necessary, like food). And how is it with time?”
We have about 5 minutes, maximum 7, for writing down “expenses” itself.
We define “how much time during the day”, but nothing stands in the way of including things I do, for example, once a week or once a month - an hour a week is on average 1/7 of an hour a day ;)
We can also appropriately mark when we manage to use some part of the time twice, e.g., praying on the way to work, or reading a book on the bus.
Our circles/bill is all our time. Let’s not forget that a large part of this time is taken up by: sleep, food, commuting, scrolling facebook… This also needs to be marked!
It is important to look at what my time looks like and mark honestly how much I “use” for what, and not draw or write down “how I would like it to be”.
Let’s summarize:
What did I mark on my diagram? How much of what is there? How much do things important to me take?
How much secondary ones?
What did this exercise help me discover?
How does it happen that everything else takes me so much time, and not what I define in my life as “important”? How is it possible that we go blind so easily?
If no one observes this, one can point out, among other things, that we fall into such a state most often gradually and imperceptibly. If at the beginning, during the initial “brainstorming”, some very apt examples fell, you can also refer to them for this purpose.
What Does Jesus Say About This?¶
The previous exercise might have been a bit depressing. We mean well, we have different ideals in life. Maybe we even sincerely confess that “God is the most important thing in my life”. However, when it comes down to it, it turns out that our everyday life verifies our hierarchy of values very strongly. What does Jesus advise us in the face of such a situation?
Let’s read:
He said to his disciples, “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat, or about your body, what you will wear. For life is more than food, and the body more than clothing. Consider the ravens: they neither sow nor reap, they have neither storehouse nor barn, and yet God feeds them. Of how much more value are you than the birds! And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life? If then you are not able to do as small a thing as that, why are you anxious about the rest? Consider the lilies, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin, yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. But if God so clothes the grass, which is alive in the field today, and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, how much more will he clothe you, O you of little faith! And do not seek what you are to eat and what you are to drink, nor be worried. For all the nations of the world seek after these things, and your Father knows that you need them. Instead, seek his kingdom, and these things will be added to you.
—Luke 12:22-31
What does Jesus teach his disciples? What does he encourage?
How does he do it? What does he say about their attitude?
Are we to stop eating and buying clothes?!
What does Christ tell us about our significance in the world, about who we are to God?
What advice does Jesus give his disciples? What should they do to avoid falling into secondary matters?
Jesus knows that although we are interested in Him in some way, just like the Apostles, we fall very easily into “worrying”, “tormenting ourselves” with matters that are sometimes necessary (“well, we have to eat!”), but not of primary importance. Christ wants primacy, he wants us to deal primarily with important matters, to “seek the kingdom of God”.
What does Jesus’ command mean for me? How can I “seek His kingdom” in my life?
What Will I Do With This?¶
One way to seek the Kingdom of God, for which we just have an opportunity, is to listen to what God wants to tell me during this retreat. We believe that we are not here by chance. Christ wants to meet each of us personally. Of course, I can occupy myself with a multitude of other things throughout the retreat and not deal with what is important at all. After all, we are masters at this. But I can also focus now and try to consciously plan this time to live it well and use it.
- Application:
Let everyone individually write down in their notebook 3 things that are important for them on this retreat. Let this be a signpost for us for this time. Let’s return to it tomorrow morning, or even today before going to sleep, to constantly remind ourselves why we came here!
Warning
Maybe there is no need to mention this, but remember that this is an individual matter. As we noted at the beginning of the meeting, we absolutely do not aim to hit some key. If for someone food or relationships are clearly more important than, for example, prayer, that’s also cool. Everyone comes here with something else. We do not impose a ready-made model, only help everyone consciously shape their spiritual life! We, for our part, can only propose and invite you to devote a significant part of this time and attention to God, because we know from experience that it is worth it and that it changes lives.
Summary and Prayer¶
In the final prayer, we can include the contents that have been discussed so far at the retreat (at the conference, at the meeting), preparing slowly for the evening prayer:
We know that we are going blind, losing our sight and not noticing how we become grumpy and fall into secondary matters, even though we would like to deal with what is important in life. It catches up with us imperceptibly. We believe in God who cannot be seen, and what is invisible escapes us much more easily. We want to entrust this experience to Jesus. We believe that he restores sight - both physical and spiritual. Let us ask him for this “balm to anoint the eyes”, so that we see things in our life as they are and give them the appropriate value, which will translate into what we do with this life. Let us pray for each other, that we fully use the time of this retreat, that we live it well and fruitfully.