Meeting 2. - Stages of making decisions – what guides me?¶
Goal¶
To see different motivations in making decisions (on what basis do I make decisions?)
Prayer¶
Adapted to the group’s capabilities.
Introduction¶
Yesterday we said that choice is not an easy thing. In fact, when we face a choice dilemma, it means that the path of “seeing possibilities” is already behind us! We talked about this during the Advent retreat – it’s about searching, about seeing paths. So we are after doing some work and we can be tired. Choice often appears to us as a duty, which is the “last obstacle” to have so-called “peace of mind”. Let’s try to think about it!
Was making decisions easy for me?
Did we feel pressure that we didn’t know what to choose, but we had to mark something?
To make a choice/to have something chosen¶
Man thinks using words. What associations we have with words directly translates into how we treat what they mean. Let’s look at our associations!
What phrases do you associate with the word “choice”?
Note
“you must make a choice”, “choice of life path”, “difficult choice”, “choice of school”, “choice of clothes” etc.
These are difficult things, sometimes dramatic like “you must make a choice”. They often associate with some tearing apart, irreversible act, sometimes with something ordinary. But let’s try differently…
What phrases do you associate with the word “chosen”?
Note
“chosen people”, “chosen ring”, “chosen one”, “chosen among many”, “chosen good wine” etc.
These are very, very positive associations.
Where do you think this difference in associations of words so similar comes from?
Choice – what can we give thanks to it?¶
“Chosen means valuable”!
Why do you think it is so?
Do you have an experience of something that is particularly important to you because it was chosen?
On the one hand, we choose those things that have the greatest value - so if something was chosen, it means that it was not “ordinary”. We can relate such a category to the world of material things. However, this sentence has a deeper meaning.
What do you think this deeper meaning is about?
Note
the group tries to figure it out together
Can we, for example, use the criterion of “greatest value” in relation to the choice of a life partner? Every human being is equally priceless. And yet – the one who was chosen among millions and said “yes” to us became the most important. Exactly – became! The very moment of choice makes a thing/person/matter acquire greater value for us. The possibility of choice becomes a “potential force” that can make something or someone become important to us.
What things in my life, normally “ordinary”, became very valuable to me thanks to my choice?
Note
friend, choice of nickname, place where for the first time something ;) was etc.
Am I aware that by making choices I can “forever change the value of something in my life”?
Let’s look that this is not about choosing that something from now on will not be/will be important (as far as such a choice is technically possible to change something like that by an act of reason!!!!), but that by making decisions it happens automatically as if “in the background”.
My choices – analysis of steps¶
Yesterday we filled out a survey. We had to make specific choices, even those “against us” when we would like to find another (better) solution, but such was not included in the answer options. Let’s try to analyze each of the 14 situations now. However, let’s try to focus on the stages of making decisions rather than on its content itself.
We analyze one by one 14 questions of Fr. Jarek. At each we ask questions:
Was the answer obvious to you?
What exactly was the dilemma of this answer?
Was the decision intuitive for you?
On what basis were you guided when giving it? (maximally concretely! If someone says that on the teaching of Jesus, let him say what parable/teaching he specifically means)
What played the biggest role? Heart? Reason? Conscience? Sense of justice? etc.
Warning
This is the essential part of the meeting and should turn into a free conversation, but conducted according to such a scheme, the duty of maintaining which lies with the animator. If the group is ambitious and time allows, let them create further situations so-called “difficult topics” e.g. In-vitro, contraception, euthanasia, popularizing faith etc. Let’s not focus, however, as it usually happens, on the content itself and the arguments of the sides but on the analysis of the choice and the essence of the dilemma!
Example, so that you as animators see how revealing conversations can be:
Contraception
Dilemma at the level of reason? Heart? Conscience?
What do we rely on? On Humanae Vitae? Really? How many people read it?
Maybe we rely therefore on what the Parish Priest says?
What is the dilemma FOR US? That something is wrong or that we are disobedient to the Church?
Why for some people the answer to this matter is so obvious?
Note
Of course one should properly balance between personal answers and “general analyzing” depending on the intimacy of the topic (this also applies to Fr. Jarek’s questions!)
- Goal:
Seeing that making a choice is a complex process, which is hard to put into schemes, always individual. Drawing attention to the fact that we use different planes of our life to shed light on the matter (intellect, intuition, emotions etc.). Seeing which planes we use when.
Summary¶
Make a decision here and now, even the simplest one, but think about why this way and not otherwise and implement it in life even today.