Meeting 2 — What Am I Looking For?¶
Goal of the Meeting¶
Sharing the experience of one’s own search. Discovering the illusion between the declaration of seeking and actual seeking. The educational goal is to put to each participant the basic question: what are you looking for?
Introduction for the facilitator¶
Today’s meeting is at the end of the day. We have in particular two conferences behind us. The meeting should have an accent definitely more of sharing life than philosophical inquiry. The atmosphere necessary to realize such a form must be introduced by the animator.
Every use of the word “world” in this outline should be understood in the meaning as St. Paul uses it in his letters! No – I do not have a phobia about conspiracy theory of history.
Initial prayer¶
Lighting the candle: Ps 105:4
To be a “Seeker”¶
How do you associate the term – “I am a seeker”?
Associations are often negative. A seeker is one “who lacks something, with whom not everything is OK”. After all, we have already found, we are “better”. For even greater contrast in feeling – let’s construct such a sentence:
A believing person is a seeker
Note: Participants can of course already agree with this sentence (after all, we have been talking about it since the beginning of the day, it would be stupid to come out as one to whom it did not reach)! Therefore we ask whether in common feeling such a sentence would be completely normal or “strange” (how would e.g. our parents react to such a statement?).
Why does the world look at such a term in this way?
If someone is a seeker for a longer time it means that they are a loser, that they cannot find, that they are ineffective. “In the 21st century one does not seek, in the 21st century one finds”.
The world’s answer to our seeking¶
The question arises:
Does this mean that the 21st century person does not seek at all? (Seeks – but what matters take most of their time? (we do not ask which are most important for them))
We create a list together, example:
What to wear in the morning?
What to buy for a Christmas gift?
What is new in the store that I can buy?
From where can I download a new game from the Internet?
How to call cheaper from a mobile phone?
The 21st century person therefore seeks and quite a lot.
In what way does the world respond to these searches of man?
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What name would you give to the principle that reigns here?
This is a principle that can be briefly described as: “Looking for something? You got it!”.
Holy Scripture’s answer to our seeking¶
What principle reigns in God’s answer to our seeking?
At our joint meetings various things can often escape us, which seem to be some kind of formality/ritual. Let’s reach now for the fragment we read while lighting the candle:
Seek the Lord and his strength, seek his presence continually!
—Ps 105:4
What is the principle here? How would you describe it?
This is a principle that can be described as: “Looking for something? Seek it with all your heart and continually!”.
What is the difference in these two different approaches? Both seem good after all. What is wrong with someone doing us a favor and us quickly receiving what we need? Let’s see this on a concrete example:
- Principle: “Looking for something? You got it!”
Looking for a friend in me?
You got a friend!
Doesn’t sound bad, right? But let’s look:
- Principle: “Looking for something? Seek it with all your heart and continually!”
Looking for a friend in me?
Seek him in me with all your heart and continually!
The difference is huge! Continuous seeking is creating a dynamic relationship that is constantly open to finding something new, to being surprised by it. Additionally, when we have to wait for something, when something does not come to us easily – we value it much more.
Have you experienced (on any example – not necessarily friendship) the difference between these two principles? What did it consist in?
Warning
This is a very personal sharing question. At the same time it is one of the key moments of the meeting – realization of its goal. The animator should plan enough time for it. The personal testimony of the Animator will be crucial for the group’s sharing.
Our seeking is however strongly threatened. The world easily manipulates it, but also we ourselves.
I seek because they told me that I want this¶
Note
this point can be reported. I place it here due to the significant age span of our participants – perhaps there will be groups where this topic will be most fruitful
Let’s look once again at the list we created – “what the 21st century person is looking for”. How many times did it happen to you that entering a store you were not looking for a product at all, but you bought it?
What are we looking for that is really something imposed on us, something we perhaps do not really need?
Examples:
Better mobile phone (even though I don’t use its new functions) MP3 files on the Internet (to collect them - and I won’t listen to them anyway because I have so many)
Gossip in newspapers about stars ($#^&!%@ I am not even able to invent what to write here :D)
Cosmetic XYZ (because thanks to it you will be beautiful – as if you weren’t now)
All these things directly or indirectly rely on someone telling us that we will find happiness somewhere where it is not!
I say that I am looking for “A”, but I am looking out for “B”¶
Note
this point is key! It is an explicit realization of the second goal of the meeting. Dedicate enough time to it, as this is the essential work of the group
We spoke about manipulation of us by the “world” in the matter of the direction of our searches. However, this is not its only source. There is one more, much harder to discover – it is ourselves.
We will now discuss our various “searches”. Each time let’s try to see maximally broadly what one can really look for on the occasion of this activity! Let’s try to understand the mechanism that causes such discrepancies that “I say I am looking for A, but I am really looking out for B”. Let’s share mainly such associations that we know from our own life, on which we “catch” ourselves. Each of us possesses a natural psychological defense mechanism that suggests to us that “after all not us! We always do exactly as we think”. Group work on individual situations can make someone else suggest such an answer against which we are just defending ourselves. Let’s use well the conditions we have here and try to notice something in our life. For some examples it will be possible to list a million examples “pious” - do not write them down if they are not in our life!
Note
It is worth giving an example here: Suppose we were to answer the question “Who is Mary for me?”. Indeed the correct answer is “Ark of the Covenant” or “Tower of Ivory” (see Litany of Loreto), but if for none of us these terms are close to the heart then let’s set them aside – we met to share our own experience, and not to write encyclopedias!
Each time we use the form “What are we/you looking for in …….?” Everyone is to hear this question several times! Must confront finding an answer to it! This is the educational Goal of this meeting.
Below I present proposed examples for discussion. I suggest in a similar way to make a certain dynamics of them – from “banal”, which will allow understanding what’s going on to essential ones. Participants can give examples themselves! It is recommended if time allows. It is even indicated that this point of the meeting turns into a free conversation.
- I buy Pepsi
I seek satisfaction of thirst
I seek satisfaction “because I am myself” (allusion to advertising)
I seek something that has caffeine and will make me not fall asleep at the lecture
- In the Sunday sermon
The word “Amen”
Theological error
Something that agrees with my approach
Something new that will change my approach
- In Christmas
Atmosphere/climate
Break in school
Gifts
Beautiful memories
Jesus Christ
Conversion
- In opening the Holy Scripture
Word of God to me here and now
Aphorism, preferably about love, such a “cool” one
Prayers
Learning new facts to be able to show off on Friday
Contradictions to have something to argue with the priest about
Holy peace that I did this Tent of Meeting
- In Friendship
Stability
Support
Someone who guarantees that I won’t be bored on Saturday evening
Someone thanks to whom I will feel like a better person
Someone who will be interested in my life
- In statements of someone from our group
End
Solution to own problems
Meeting with another person
Understanding
“Social novelty”
Partner for discussion
- In the Church
Acceptance
Group of friends
Sacrum
Silence
God
In oneself (probably do not discuss – leave them with such a question)
Summary¶
Ask questions:
Was it easy for you to answer the question what are you looking for?
Did someone ask you this question before? Who?
“This question is the beginning of every path of faith” (John Paul II). That is why we repeated it so many times at this meeting. We must know what we are really looking for. We must know what we want to look for. When we discover these two matters it remains for us to fight so that there is no conflict between them, but unity. Unity of life and thought. It is difficult. Often it fails, we know best ourselves. We look for lacks, flaws, imperfections in ourselves, something that today the world can improve. We carry in ourselves such a vision of happiness that we seek… along the way bypassing what true happiness is.
Read:
For this commandment which I command you this day is not too hard for you, neither is it far off. It is not in heaven, that you should say, ‘Who will go up for us to heaven, and bring it to us, that we may hear it and do it?’ Neither is it beyond the sea, that you should say, ‘Who will go over the sea for us, and bring it to us, that we may hear it and do it?’ But the word is very near you; it is in your mouth and in your heart, so that you can do it.
—Deut 30:11–14
To fulfill God’s will (fullness of happiness) we do not have to look “who knows where”. Everything is given to us and is closer to us than we would think! It is literally in us.
Do you believe that “one does not need to look far”?
Have you experienced something like searching “far” for something that was near you?
Application¶
Let the application from our meeting be choosing one element of the retreat. Let’s try just before its start to ask ourselves:
I am here and now – I will take part in something in a moment. What am I looking for in this?
Final prayer¶
Let’s end this meeting with spontaneous prayer. First let it be a prayer of thanksgiving for the fact that we are “seekers” of God and “sought” by God. If time allows then later a prayer of petition in which we will ask the Holy Spirit for guidance in our search.