Meeting 2 — More To Be Than To Have *********************************** .. tags:: content|service|Service, content|love|Love, content|freedom|Freedom, method|image-work|Image work, method|group-work|Group work, method|sharing-questions|Sharing questions, type|formative|Formative Goal of the meeting + introduction for the facilitator ====================================================== Preparing participants for evening prayer. Presenting service as realizing the path "more to be than to have". This meeting lasts 1 hour 45 minutes. With this meeting it is so that if people get into the topic, three questions are enough for the whole conversation. Let us not avoid asking about basic things. In faith, one does not need to share subtle theological nuances. My dream is that at this meeting someone says how they personally experience mercy from the Crucified Jesus. Let's not overcomplicate this! Faith will defend itself by being true. Introduction ============ During today's Tent of Meeting we read Jesus' conversation with Nicodemus. Jesus speaks about being born again. The topic of "new opening" is often present throughout the Holy Scripture. We also spoke about this yesterday: about a new perspective and the ability to open up to it. Let us read: Now John’s disciples and the Pharisees were fasting. And people came and said to Him, “Why do John’s disciples and the disciples of the Pharisees fast, but your disciples do not fast?” And Jesus said to them, “Can the wedding guests fast while the bridegroom is with them? As long as they have the bridegroom with them, they cannot fast. The days will come when the bridegroom is taken away from them, and then they will fast in that day. No one sews a piece of unshrunk cloth on an old garment. If he does, the patch tears away from it, the new from the old, and a worse tear is made. And no one puts new wine into old wineskins. If he does, the wine will burst the skins—and the wine is destroyed, and so are the skins. But new wine is for fresh wineskins.” -- Mk 2:18-22 * How do you understand this passage? * What can sewing new cloth onto an old garment be in spiritual life? * What in the retreat so far has been an opening of a new perspective for you (even in the smallest degree)? * To what reality of faith is it difficult for you to open up? (optional!) Our retreat is a symbolic expedition to the mountain. Yesterday we climbed it observing how the perspective changes. This morning we looked from the top at the Old and New Testament seeing various connections. Tomorrow we will descend from this mountain to our homes. What is before us today? After the first delight with new perspectives, we now want to look more closely at one of them. Assess what is my real attitude towards it, whether I want to change something in it, decide what I want to return home with tomorrow. World of values =============== The goal of the exercise is to show that values given to a thing, to an entity do not come from nowhere. It depends on us which entities have the greatest values for us. It is quite difficult, because from experience I know that prioritizing their values comes hard to people, but I think it is worth it. It is important in the life of every human being to be aware of the system of values they possess and why it is so. This exercise will practically allow us to look at the spiritual world from a high perspective. **Exercise:** Everyone in the group receives cards with different traits. .. image:: motywatory.* :align: center Our task is to arrange them in the appropriate order from those least influencing me (on the left) to those most (on the right). It is quite difficult so it is worth giving a moment of time. Then everyone shares what they have (unless someone does not want to). By the way, we ask why such traits and why in such a place. We do not negate any answers here - the point is for everyone to start thinking about it more deeply. All traits are equally good! .. note:: (optional) The second stage of the exercise is shifting (or not) each card up or down. The more the card goes up, the more, in our assessment, we have been using this trait recently. The more down - analogously less. * What did this exercise show you? * Do you wonder what place a value occupies in your life? * What was the most difficult? * What was the easiest? Then it is worth showing that the value of something associates for us sometimes with something acquired, with something that a given thing has from the beginning, and meanwhile it is worth changing the perspective: What value something has depends on what value we give it. Examples: #. An ordinary chestnut can have immense value if someone once gave it to me in a gesture of kindness. #. A phone I got from my parents will probably be worth less than a phone I worked hard for all summer - by my work I gave it value. #. Money - an ordinary piece of paper, yet it has considerable value because someone once gave it value, believing that thanks to it we will live better. #. Law - a set of rules which in themselves have no value. They have value when we believe in them and know they are for our good - we give them value ourselves. **Conclusion:** What value something has depends to a very large extent on me. The same applies to the value of another human being, or even me. How is it with this mercy? ========================== Jesus in the Sermon on the Mount seeks the essence of the law, the essence of faith. We spoke about this during the morning conference. Let us try to concentrate on one aspect. Let us read: Blessed are the merciful, for they shall obtain mercy. -- Mt 5:7 * What is mercy to you? * What is the essence of mercy? * In what situations can you say that someone manifests mercy? * Where do you experience mercy? Mercy must be concrete. It is not a Christian ideal to "love the whole world" and stop only at that. Such round sentences often translate into no practice of life. It takes effort to love someone in RSA or Brazil, without a doubt. However, the real challenge is to love a brother, sister, parents, neighbor and Polish teacher who picked on our essay. Often we ourselves in the Church fall into a certain "pious naivety" losing strongly the meaning of what we do. Being merciful does not mean doing everything so that someone does not feel bad. Let us try to face situations of naive and mature mercy. Let's try to give a few examples together. E.g. #. I give money on the street only because someone asks for it #. I point out to someone when I see they are doing something wrong #. I pray for someone's intention, knowing they need it #. I help someone with homework, and not do it for them (for younger ones) Christ the Servant ================== Let's start with an exercise that we will perform individually each for themselves. Please take notebooks and note down various terms for Jesus e.g. Jesus-Savior, Jesus-Healer etc. Let us read: But when the ten heard it, they were indignant at the two brothers. But Jesus called them to him and said, “You know that the rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their great men exercise authority over them. It shall not be so among you. But whoever would be great among you must be your servant, and whoever would be first among you must be your slave, even as the Son of man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.” -- Mt 20:24-28 * How do you associate the term "to be a servant"? (If someone wants) Where did you place the card "service" during the exercise? * Do you often hear about Christ-Servant? Why do you think so? (You can get an answer to this question by checking if you wrote down such a term a moment ago during the exercise) Peter let his feet be washed. During the wedding water was brought to Jesus to solve their crisis. How do you allow Jesus to serve you too? Here a digression: the words "to be a servant" can currently have very negative associations. Culture has shaped our language this way. A servant is not a free man after all. Sometimes the language itself heard in the Church can scare us away only because it is currently incomprehensible to us. This retreat tells about the courage to change perspective. With own effort one can get used to this language and reach the content that stands behind it. To be a servant by choice ========================= God gives us value as a human being not just so we simply have, not just to feel good, not just to focus only on own development and not just to put ourselves in the center. Through service, through mercy, the other person, following the example of Jesus Christ, stands on the pedestal of our doing love and good towards them. How to be a servant so as not to feel bad about it? Become one by own choice. A slave is born a slave. A Christian servant becomes one by choice. This is a good place for animator's testimony. .. note:: Does my marriage limit my freedom? Humanly looking yes, because I have limited possibilities ;). However, I am not enslaved in any way, because it was my choice. By an act of free will I consciously "limited" my possibilities gaining in fact much much more. This mechanism is key. Standing before a decision we do not have a new perspective and in the current one something might look like a loss. Let us read: (or Jn 13:1-17 (washing of feet)) | Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, | who, though he was in the form of God, | did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, | but emptied himself, | taking the form of a servant, | being born in the likeness of men. | And being found in human form he humbled himself | and became obedient unto death, | even death on a cross. | Therefore God has highly exalted him | and bestowed on him the name | which is above every name, | that at the name of Jesus | every knee should bow, | in heaven and on earth and under the earth, | and every tongue confess | that Jesus Christ is Lord, | to the glory of God the Father. -- Phil 2:5-11 * What is service to you? * Have you ever experienced joy from service? If you can, tell about it. * How do you feel when you imagine that others call you e.g. "Kamil servant of people"? Why? Let us read a fragment of John Paul II's Homily from 1987 from Westerplatte dividing it into two stages: | **[1]** Relevant here are the words of Cardinal Newman, that we need "men who know their religion, who enter into it, who know just where they stand, who know what they hold and what they do not, who know their creed so well that they can give an account of it, who know so much of history that they can defend it" (John Henry Newman, On Consulting the Faithful in Matters of Doctrine). | **[2]** The young man in the Gospel had a very clear view of the principles according to which human life should be built. And yet even he at a certain moment failed to cross the threshold of his conditionings. When Christ, turning to him with love, said: "follow Me" (cf. Mk 10:21) - he did not follow. He did not follow because "he had great possessions" (cf. Mk 10:22). The desire to keep everything he had prevented him. The desire to "have", to "have more", prevented him from "being more". | For the way Christ pointed out led to this: to "be more"! The indications of the Gospel always lead to this. In every profession or vocation without exception - Christ's call leads to this. | Your vocations and professions are different. You must consider well in what relation - on each of these paths - "being more" remains to "having more". But never can "having more" itself win. Because then man can lose the most precious thing: his humanity, his conscience, his dignity. Everything that also constitutes the perspective of "eternal life". **[1]** To choose something consciously one must know it. The Pope speaks of people who know their religion, know what their position is, are aware. This is the starting point. * What is your position in the Church? What can you do in it? .. note:: We do not develop this too much. This will be the topic of tomorrow. Now we want to signal the topic so it starts working in participants' hearts. This is also an opportunity for you as an animator to see what is the state of awareness of your group. If today it turns out that for them service in the Church is abstract then you should already outline the universal vocation to service here. **[2]** The Pope speaks of a key change of perspective. Life is about being more than having. * What does this specifically mean to you? * When does "having more" win in us? Does this problem concern us? * How does the relation of "having more" to "being more" look in our current vocation or profession? To burn out for others ====================== .. warning:: Important moment of the meeting. The readiness to experience the sign at evening prayer depends on it. The symbol of service for others we talk about is a lit candle standing in the midst of us. Let's try to interpret this symbol. Why a candle? (The animator leads the meeting picking up what people say and trying to develop it. If some point from the list was not mentioned, one can guide towards it. From each point after its interpretation with consistency we return to the question: what does this mean for you in practice?) * A candle can light others | Similarly service is "contagious". A person who serves joyfully towards others gathers people around them who want to help them. This is how the vast majority of religious orders were formed! During the Easter Vigil all candles in the church are lit from one candle (Paschal Candle) and in a moment it becomes bright. | What does this mean for you in practice? * Candles had to be lit by someone earlier | It is similar with us - we serve because someone gave us an impulse to act. Service has a certain "continuity of generations" in its DNA. We mutually take over responsibility. | What does this mean for you in practice? * A candle burns out for others | Service is focused on giving, on the other person. It has an element of sacrifice in it e.g. of one's time or energy. | What does this mean for you in practice? * A candle gives warmth to everyone without exception | Christian service is not picky. If we want to preach the Gospel we preach it lavishly - to the whole world, we do not choose areas of the earth. | What does this mean for you in practice? * A candle is created for a specific purpose | Candles do not arise spontaneously or by accident. Service is also to some extent planned, thought out, has its goal. | What does this mean for you in practice? * Candles can be blown out | Service is also defenseless and delicate. It is easy to break an idealist by throwing a few texts about their naivety at them. During service such things happen, but... in combination with pt. 1 if we are not alone in it - we will manage! | What does this mean for you in practice? * A candle cannot burn without oxygen | So we cannot serve without love for neighbor and the Holy Spirit | What does this mean for you in practice? Let's not stay only at the stage of interpretation. Let's share our experience. This final stage of the meeting should be used for good sharing of one's approach to "living for others". Below are a few questions that might be useful. * What are your experiences with "burning out for others"? * Who served you? Are you grateful to them for that? * What matter/thing/person is so important to you that you would like your life to be focused on service in this direction? * A certain priest said that we must "possess ourselves in giving ourselves" - how do you understand such a formulation? Have you experienced that it is true? * What difficulties do you meet (can you meet) in service? How can you deal with them? Leave the comfort zone? ======================= Service is leaving one's comfort zone (meaning outside what comes relatively easily to us, because we feel good enough). It carries a requirement to go beyond what is within visible reach for us, beyond what we "would like" to do. Thanks to this, service also becomes an amazing development - in terms of faith, love for another person and simply in the sense of developing one's own personality, why? Let's observe this on a simple example from outside the field of the Church: #. A young carpenter after technical school was taught basic skills. He can make chairs, tables and simple shelves. However, he always has an uncle who can help him in case of problems. One day a certain man comes and would like to order a small wardrobe from him. This significantly exceeds the things he has done until now. Should he undertake this? Definitely, because he will develop better then and learn something new. #. So there is no need to fear challenges and new things even if something might go wrong. #. Jesus calls disciples - simple people. He gives them tasks that significantly exceed their duties so far. * What is most difficult for you in accepting service? * Have you experienced such a moment that through service to another you received a lot yourself? Can you share? Application =========== Creation of a list of people who showed us mercy. Prayer in their intention.